What did you say?

We choose our words! What we say to ourselves – self-speak – is very important. These are the words that we use internally stemming from our thoughts. We consequently have a choice of words before we deliver them. Therefore, you might wish to consider eliminating certain ones from your vocabulary, like – which is one by the way if over used – and ‘impossible,’ ‘won’t work,’ ‘I’d be no good at that, ‘can’t do’ and so on. Therefore, replacing similar word patterns with positive expectations might just allow you to believe things can be done and allow your mind to find a way.

This might not apply to you personally, yet simply ask yourself if you’ve ever said something and immediately wanted to take the words back? If your answer is yes, then the truth is that you meant to say them! There is always a lapse before we verbalise, so we do have a choice. Look before you leap is the same good advice as to think before you speak. Pause first and then choose the words that you want to say, and in time, the undesired ones will disappear from your vocabulary.

Understanding that nobody wins an argument might be a belief that stands one in good stead relating to our choice of words in conversation. Being right in the wrong environment is a sure way of alienating someone. Winning an argument is indicating that another person has lost and therefore has been defeated. The vanquished person might not feel happy about being put in his or her place, don’t you think? Therefore, respecting the views of another, without forcing your own belief to be the only acceptable truism could be preferable and more productive. Whether you agree or not is immaterial. The point is not to make an issue out of your differing opinions. Congratulating someone on their perception might not be easy, yet it could turn a potential argument into a dynamic discussion. Opinions are commonplace and the entitlement of each individual. Agree if appropriate and let it go if inappropriate. Each to his or her own is advisable.

Discussion, which seems to have virtually disappeared on public transport, and I’m a regular train passenger, used to be an interesting arena for exchanging thoughts on all sorts of topics. Listening to the thoughts of other people, whether you agree or not, can be an interesting exercise and easily dismissed without appearing rude by simply voicing, “I never thought about it in that light.”

If words are aimed at another person there is often an attempt to manipulate, which is quite common, particularly in the realms of political debate. Not wishing to enter that arena, I’m merely suggesting that in order to employ meaningful discussion, think before you speak and enjoy two way banter. Say what you mean and mean what you say! Consider not only what you say, but how it’s delivered and whether congruently matched with your body language. The choice is yours.

I’d welcome any comments.