john mulvey life coach happiness

Something that the majority of people search for! It’s often illusory for the majority, because many of us have been led to believe that working hard forms the basis for success and automatic pleasure. Working hard is not to be discounted, but it doesn’t necessarily guarantee satisfaction. I read a book by Shawn Achor some years ago that fuelled the idea of happiness being an advantage. I agree with that but want to dispel the belief that only monetary success is the panacea.

Happiness is a bonus for each and everyone of us. There are so many diversions these days that can lead to a happy day by day satisfaction, or on the other hand doom and gloom. It depends on the pursuits that we engage in. If marriage is to work, and the breakdowns appear to be accelerating as time goes by, then consideration for our partner needs to be acted on.

When coaching individuals, which is my occupation, I encourage clients to set goals in three main areas; earnings, social activity and personal health. The first goal is usually about earning more than they are currently. The second goal sometimes proves difficult to put into words, and I’ll comment on that presently, and the third goal, which ought to be foremost, is to do with the healthy ability to function well enough in order to pursue the first two.

If people honestly set realistic goals for themselves and become aware of effective scheduling in order to allow sufficient time for their achievement, then focus usually ensures positive results. There are other goals to set in order for a balance of activity, and these come under the title of subsidiary goals, which need to be personal of course. So, rather than chase success and ignore the consequences of happiness, find what turns you on initially and understand that happiness first can lead to success! Don’t wait to find happiness, pursue it primarily so that you become more motivated and productive and are able to realise the results that hopefully have been in your dreams prior to your understanding of getting priorities in order.

Reflecting on a client’s second goal, which I alluded to earlier, concerns an architect I coached some years ago. He had no doubt about earning more money, yet his social activity was a challenge. However, having at first suggested that he had no time to take his wife to dinner occasionally, he wrote it down and I proposed that he placed an asterisk in the goal to ENJOY taking his wife to dinner. Some years later, I received a phone call letting me know that he was still enjoying taking his wife to dinner!!!   

He sounded happy and I was delighted to know that he was well adjusted to staying on track pursuing realistic and achievable aims.

In closing, consider what would make you happy first, without harming or adversely affecting others, and pursue it regularly and steadfastly. Let me know if it works for you.

Kind regards, John Mulvey 0411 541 899.


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