Conversation and interaction without using the phone is determined by one’s attitude. Face to face verbal communication is affected by our appearance. If we care about how we look, then consider how we might sound when opening our mouth to engage in conversation.

For enjoyment in meeting and greeting and conversing, it might be worthwhile thinking about how we could effectively relate a story, and the attention we give to our partner in communication whether speaking or listening, all in the course of effective interaction. We cannot not communicate so giving some thought to how we look and sound, might require dusting ourselves off in order to do it well. We’ve come a long way from swinging a club and exchanging grunts and now is the time to express who we are and to relish the opportunity to have something to say, face to face with another human being, as well as welcoming their speaking to us.

Attitude and Conversation

Three considerations when engaging in this one to one or one to many.

  1. Have something to say.
  2. Care for people with whom you are about to converse.
  3. When you’ve said your piece… shut up!

You don’t have to be a Rhodes Scholar to engage in this fascinating act of verbal communication. However, shyness can often get in the way of taking the first step, and sometimes the fear of what people might think about us and our way with words. Like anything that’s worthwhile, it can demand practice in order to become relaxed and proficient in the verbal communication stakes. In addition, should we be the listener, our attitude can determine positive outcomes as opposed to negative ones.

Many people can be swayed by another person’s values and listen in judgemental mode. Knowing that you’re the only real deciding factor is one based on your human values. This attitude is one of being right and can be dysfunctional. Believing that you’re the keeper of the only truth and valuable opinion can deeply affect your ability to effectively listen.

e.g. “Yes, but we all know that there’s only one way to achieve that.” Or “If we value our sanity, then staying on this track must be the right thing to do.”

Another aspect of attitude when listening is to put everything into a box. Like herding sheep into a pen, some people know where the possible argument is heading and feel the need to challenge every statement. It’s often done in a domineering way because what is being heard is untrue or at best unfounded. A typical expression is a shake of the head suggesting doubt about what is being said and the other person getting ready to pour scorn and even ridicule on what is being heard. However, this is usually only in body language, which incidentally is the major component of verbal communication.

This style of attitude is the domain of the verbal bully and resides in the person who wants to put everyone down and in their place.

Consider your approach.

Kind regards, John Mulvey 0411 541 899

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